No, she had no kindness for me. How could she ever have felt kindness for anyone? A sensual creature who required one man to satisfy her lust, another to play the gallant and another to satisfy her need to inflict pain. Not that I think she restricted herself to this trinity, but at any rate I was the one she selected to torture.
Sadeq Hedayat - The Blind Owl
Source: psychoneurogenesis
There are sores which slowly erode the mind in solitude like a kind of canker. It is impossible to convey a just idea of the agony which this disease can inflict. In general, people are apt to relegate such inconceivable sufferings to the category of the incredible. Any mention of them in conversation or in writing is considered in the light of current beliefs, the individual’s personal beliefs in particular, and tends to provoke a smile of incredulity and derision. The reason for this incomprehension is that mankind has not yet discovered a cure for this disease. Relief from it is to be found only in the oblivion brought about by wine and in the artificial sleep induced by opium and similar narcotics. Alas,the effects of such medicines are only temporary. After a certain point, instead of alleviating the pain, they only intensify it.
Sadeq Hedayat, The Blind Owl
“She was the embodiment of all my distant, painful memories among which I sought what I was deprived of, what belonged to me but somehow I was denied. Was I deprived forever?”
-Sadeq Hedayat, The Blind Owl
In this mean world of wretchedness and misery I thought that for once a ray of sunlight had broken upon my life. Alas, it was not sunlight but a passing gleam, a falling star, which flashed upon me, in the form of a woman – or of an angel. In its light,in the course of a second, of a single moment, I beheld all the wretchedness of my existence and apprehended the glory and splendor of the star. After, that brightness disappeared again in the whirlpool of darkness in which it was bound inevitably to disappear. I was unable to retain that passing gleam.It is three months – no, it is two months and four days – sinceI lost her from sight but the memory of those magic eyes, of the fatal radiance of those eyes, has remained with me at all times. How can I forget her, who is so intimately bound up with my own existence?
Sadeq Hedayat, Blind Owl
How bitter and frightening, our lives would have been, if they never ended?
-Sadeq Hedayat
“Death is the only motivation in life left for me.”
-Sadeq Hedayat
In this base world, full of poverty and misery, for the first time I thought a ray of sunshine had shone on my life. But alas, it was not a sunbeam, rather it was only a transient beam, a shooting star, which appeared to me in the likeness of a woman or an angel.
Sadeq Hedayat
“I write only for my shadow which is cast on the wall in front of the light. I must introduce myself to it.”
-Sadeq Hedayat
In the theater of life, everyone acts their own way, until death arrives.
Sadeq Hedayat
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